No greater love....than this.

It has been a long long time since I have the LUXURY of time to blog.
So many things happened.
So many people come and go.
Maybe that’s why I was busy busy busy throughout the entire week!
Yeah… maybe.
Scholarship.
University application.
Yes, the two harmless looking culprits robbed me of my time.
Essay, essays and more ESSAYS~
Super tiring.
Everyday, after coming back from work, I turn on my comp and it’s all about scholarships, university applications.
And this senior who visits my room almost everyday sits aside, playing some online flash games.
Gah~
So irritating.
Just hate it to see someone slacking and yet I myself coped up with so many things.
Sometimes, I just wonder why am I spending all the time doing this.
It’s like I feel that I just have a low probability of getting any scholarships.
I think.
Why not just stick to ASEAN scholarship?
No bonds. Isn’t it better?
No need for any essays somemore.
Hmm… and the problem still remains.
Will I even get it?
Ahhhh~~
Then, I know that there’s “life-saver’ called the study loan.
Seems like something promising.
But yeah, the downside, I needa pay back the money someday.
I don’t wanna eat peas and peanuts everyday while paying back the loan!!!
That’s so poor thing.
Okays, I’ll just try my best to apply for whatever possible.
And so, that’s where I am now.
Doing all the last minute work.

Oh wells, bad things aside, actually, surprisingly, many great things happened this weekend.
Good Friday plus Easter weekend are filled with so many events.
Went to church yesterday.
The drama was magnificent.
Would you dare to look back into your past?
It is indeed something scary.
Too much to say about the drama.
It is really one that is worth watching.
My tears just rolled down my cheeks when I see how Jesus was crucified on the cross.
For me.
For us.
I was so touched.
It’s like… my love for Him is totally renewed.
How wonderful.
How amazing.

Zhenyi came for a stay over at my SUITE!!! =)
IT’S REALLY A NICE SUITE!
It’s a place at a really strategic location, right in the middle of food haven with never ending night life.
Wheee…
One of the latest nights I had.
Agreed to sleep at three.
But… hahas~ we were so “time conscious” that the chatting session went on and on even though lying dead in bed.
And so, I think I successfully slept at five instead.
Phew~

Okay, and then later in the day, miss lee came over.
And as usual, she always came over with new stuffs for us.
And guess what?!She got me a 3G wireless modem!!!!
WHEEEEEEEE~~
I was so so happy, but of course I maintained my composure in front of her.
Oh, by the way, miss lee the owner of the place.
She’s a really really really really really nice lady.
A young and a pretty one too ;)
We had a good chat.
Talked all about my job, my studies…
She even helped me with my sales so that I can get more commission ;)
And she told me how she managed to study overseas, in Australia.
She even told me about her first boyfriend. Hahahas~
Oh, and since she’s selling this lovely place away, that means I’ll only be staying here for 2 months plus.
I agree with her that I’ll still keep in contact with her and she urge me to visit her sometime such as during Chinese new year to get ang paus. =)

Well, there’s this couple living next door (next room, I mean).
The lady looks really like an ang moh. Really.
At first I thought she was some young, hot looking Caucasian who speaks Malay or Bahasa Indonesia.
I guess she just so happened to marry a Malay husband and so speaks malay with him.
Until one day, we began talking to each other and she told me she’s a Malay.
Wow… I am really surprised!
She looks so fair la, with a rather blonde/brownish hair.
Oh wells, the main thing is she’s really nice.
She cooks really well and always asks me to help myself with her cooking.
And so, I get to have at least a nice home-cooked-meal at home these days.

It’s really fortunate for me to live here. Really.
Nice location, nice people, nice friends.
Although it was hard and tough at first in all this, but I am glad that now, I see light.
It’s like, everything is just so nice right now.
And that’s why I feel pretty happy these days... wheee.

THE WIRELESS 3G Modem ROCKS!!! =D

♥ No greater love than this.3 x
2:00 AM

Walking the path of life.

Getting to work the first day sets me thinking about many many things.
It’s really taxing, until the extent that I took almost an hour to get myself to sleep.
And woke up several times in between my pathetic 1am – 7am sleeping hours.
I’m just like that.
When there’s something bothering me, it’s just like an alarm in me, waking me up automatically.
Maybe it’s just how my body reacts so that I am able to get things done, as the best to my ability.
I just gotta try as hard as possible to push myself to the limit.
And never never ever give up!
Hmm, I think I heard that phrase from somewhere.
Not sure where though…
Well, at least now I know what it really really means.

Mum and dad called just now.
Asked me how am I doing over here.
I really felt guilty for not calling back, mum.
Sorry.
I’m really too coped up with all of the hard-to-handle things around me.
And then I got super duper tired and lost my entire mood so very often.
I’m really glad that you guys called.
It’s really comforting to know that you’re by my side.
Really comforting.
Sometimes, I really wish to have a loved one right beside me.
So that I have a shoulder to lean on.
A hand to hold.
To walk thru this rough and uneven path that I chose.
And try my very best, taking risks that I’ve never taken before.
Walking forward with faith…
And the road isn’t just this easy.
So many discouragements too.
Laughter is definitely not pleasing to the ears at this point of time.
Especially when I drain 90% of my entire self to make crucial decisions.
Oh wells, no bitching.
I abstain from it as far as possible.
And I believe it’s just all about sowing and reaping.
Sowing is never ever easy.
I guess most of us students know it best.
Without putting hard effort into studying, we just won’t get good results at the end.
But sadly, students tend to be too intelligent that they’re too blinded and somehow forget that such a principle not only applies to studies as well.
If one believes that he’s a study genius.
Try it, study all your life and see whether you get paid.
One can try by bringing books and notes to XYZ Company to read and study in front of them and see if you get paid for even 3 bucks per hour.
In the outside working world a.k.a the world for survival, it no longer works that way.
It works by sowing into so many other tougher things that require many skills in decision making.
Gotta weigh this, gotta weigh that…
and then decide.
Or come out with something brand new.

I’m glad that there’re still people around that still walked me thru some distance.
No matter how great the distance is.
I’m grateful.
As I know many times, I very often pay more concern to others rather than myself.
I suddenly thought of it as I was walking thru an alley earlier.
I’ve always do whatever I can to walk or fly with anyone.
Despite all the waiting and sacrifices.
But who am I walking with whenever I’m left walking alone.
Whether I’m at the front, to take to first step and do the experiment.
Or at the back, to be polite and giving other chances to others.
So many things happened, and as I reflect on them, yea~ I slowly realise it.
I tend to care too little for myself.
And it’s written black and white in my character report which I just found out merely days ago.
Please please please, I have to be selfish sometimes.
One friend told me.

Oh wells, never mind.
I’m always willing to take the first step if I can afford it.
Of course there’s a broader way to choose.
But where does it lead to?
A U-turn back to a place where I feel comfortable with.
No I won’t choose that.
At all cost even if I’m by myself?
Nope, there’s a Lord of my life that reigns up high, watching over me.

♥ No greater love than this.2 x
12:16 AM

Life’s challenges.

Jobs. Rooms.
Two things that have kept me extremely busy and tired for so many many days.

Job.
Took me 6 days to get a confirmed reply.
Went for lots and lots of interviews.
Meet lots of people.
Interesting ones too.
Remember having this good chat with one of them.
Property agent.
Yeah. Got me all excited about properties properties and properties.
It’s really interesting.
Guess it’s one of my area of interest now.
So the next time I fill this section, it’ll be like “Hobbies: Music, Movies, blah blah blah…AND properties.
Hahas~
Okays, and when I’m all excited for it, the pay seems pretty pathetic.
Ah~ So well, I just frankly told him that having a decent pay would be a major concern for me.
Not because I want a high pay.
It’s just that I want to be able to cover my expenses.
Rent, transport, food, and who knows, whatever stuffs etc etc.
Yeah. That guy agreed.
So, I think my hint was to move on.
Getting a decent paying job.

Well, I now I know finding a job isn’t a small matter.
Unless I choose to work for like $4 /hr.
But hey, there is a job I enquired that pays FOUR PATHETIC BUCKS AN HOUR!!!
Walao~ that’s cheap labour la.
Well well, never mind about that.
The interview was somehow “cheap” also.
Met at McD for it.
Hahs.

And I finally got a call from quite an unexpected employer today.
I felt relief.
Seems like finally somebody wants me already.
Hee =)

But… another unexpected issue popped up.
I got my job and I’m suddenly in a crisis of being homeless.
Jobless VS homeless.
Which is more serious, I wonder.
Of course, homeless refers to room-less in this case.
Maybe it’s because I feel home in this very pretty and comfortable place that I rented.
Really nice.
Really nice!!!
Air-con, newly furnished.
And newly means newly.
When I came in, they were in the midst of furnishing.
Touching up, rather.
After a huge HUGE round of brain-storming, I guess it’s partially solved.
For now.
Wells, I can just pray for things to get better.

Gah~ don’t have the time to blog about it.
I hope I still have time for that.
Have to work tomorrow.
Must sleep soon.
Real soon.

Goodnites ricky.
All the best for tomorrow.

♥ No greater love than this.3 x
12:35 AM

Going back?

I’m on this journey back to Singapore now.

I decided to take a bus this time instead as it will be faster.

It’s only 4.5 hours for a bus journey compared to the 7 dreadful hours on the train.

1000h this morning, my dad called and changed the original plan.

The original plan was me driving myself to the bus terminal and just put the car there. However, dad decided to take a few hours leave from school to fetch me there instead.

I asked him if it will be more troublesome that way but he said it’s ok.

Although he doesn’t mention it, deep down, I know, he’s taking the trouble to send me off.

Touched.

And my heart smiled.

And so I arrive at the bus terminal at 1215h to board the 1230h bus.

1245 and still the bus is still no where in sight.

Haih~ talk about inefficiency.

So, I was there thinking, if I were to manage that bus company, what are the new strategies and investment I would take to eliminate such inefficiency.

Yeah, that was how BORED I was.

Now, on the bus, the release of A level results crept into my mind.

How will I score?

How will I fair?

I really don’t know.

I guess it really depends on how the 2007 cohort did as such results depend on the bell curve or that whatever chart thingy.

Where will I stand then?

So many questions, but I don’t think I’m worried, yet, at least for now.

At least I can still sense the word “PEACE” floating in my heart.

It’s a good sign I think.

Yeah, shan’t let those adrenalines run in me for so long.

It’ll be a total wastage.

Shall keep them for some roller coaster ride or something more fun! ;)

“No pressure, son” was what my mum said.

All roads lead to Rome.

And I also remember this email sent from our college’s CCA teacher in charge.

He said something like wishing us all the best but also not matter what it is, don’t take it so hard, as it is not worth it.

He reassured that 5 years down the road, when we look back, we will understand why he said that.

I guess we all somehow know what he meant.

But I kinda feel it as I was organising the certificates I had yesterday night.

I saw my primary six UPSR exam certificate.

Straight As - 7As.

J1X, J2X, J3X.

14 As, 15 As etc

Yeah~ our school has a record of having the most number of subjects.

I really don’t know how I managed them then.

Form 3 UEC examinations another 8 straight As.

PMR certificate, I seriously couldn’t find it.

All I know is 7As.

A lousy and useless cert anyway. Can’t be bothered to look for it.

So what value do all of the have now?

Does anyone bother to look at it when I’m at this level?

Nope. Nope. Nope.

I told daddy and he agreed.

Oh well, I guess this bus is not going to reach Singapore on time.

Stopped at the rest-house for ONE FRIGGING HOUR!

And I heard it’s gonna stop over at JB too.

Haih~ what can I say?

Lazy people.

Inefficient.

Where is that most decent standard?

How are things gonna prosper this way?

I doubt it will, for much.

Is that why most people are going out or leaving?

As right now I feel like getting out of the bus.

Felt that should have traveled by air instead.

The same theory applies.

So, am I going out or going back to Singapore?

I just so happen to say that I’ll be going back to Singapore for results and my dad corrected me.

Going out, not going back.

Going back refers to going home……

♥ No greater love than this.5 x
4:30 PM

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